When desire becomes need...



Is it possible to feel too much at times? Can the heart become a weapon...carrying the weight of unspent dreams?

There are rare nights when I seem to ghost dance with the world. I move through it, aware of the physical existence of people, places, things...their connections...and nothing more.They leave no indelible mark; they are a mere whisper on the landscape of my soul that echoes vaguely in my conscious mind...a glancing blow that barely registers. Mouths move...words are said and I comprehend the physical act, the meaning and reality - but it only ripples the surface.

And then there are nights that are quiet electricity and life blooms out of control around me in vibrant and livid color. Every word has a music to it and every nuance of movement shoots through me and pins me to the wall of desire. I am held prisoner by the soft beauty of words not said. I feel the pain of lost tears and memories mumbled in a gentle catechism of failure..

And it is on those nights that I think of you. The past bleeds into the present and you become the prayer on my lips. I taste you in the air that moves around me and see your face reflected in a thousand pairs of eyes. I feel my body poised over yours like a whisper..and the faint shock of your warmth moving under me, that gentle shudder that arches your body to press tightly against mine.

Haunting is the sweetest of sins...the penance even more so...